Norwegian reality TV has spawned a new pop star. And yes, the reality is just as questionable as that sentence.
It’s Iselin Michelsen, star of Norway’s Paradise Hotel – and thus bestowing upon herself the moniker of Paradise Iselin. And with a generous helping of balls and autotune, she presents to the world her debut single and video, ‘Chewing Gum’. Ironically, a song that goes “everybody wants to taste me, but I am not that easy” was never going to be that palatable. No. This brand of chewing gum isn’t even an acquired taste. On the contrary, one requires absolutely no taste at all in order to enjoy it. And so yes – here we are taking the bait and writing about it. Naturally.
Perhaps anticipating the H8RZ, Iselin has already inserted a response to them into the opening line of each chorus – “you can judge, but it won’t effect my life that much“!
*GASP* Could she be one step ahead of all of us?
Despite only being online a few hours, the video has already attracted over 30 pages of critical comments under it. All from people who are bothered about it enough to go to the effort of writing something negative about what they’ve just witnessed. All while the play count of Iselin’s video keeps rising; more and more people get to watch her atrociously made-up face smirking at them; and the repetitive refrain of “chew chew chewing gum, chew chew chewing gum, chew chew chewing gum, is fun fun fun” remains ingrained in our minds for hours to come. Yep – Iselin wins.
Oh and one more thing. The hot guy she’s with in the video? That’s her boyfriend. Also a star of Norway’s Paradise Hotel. And an owner of one quite broad penis, it would appear. She’s still winning.